the one where i weigh in on macs

slate analyzes the new microsoft ad campaign-rebuttal to those ubiquitous apple ads with the hip, laid back, hands in his pockets so much that you wonder if apple is now selling iMasturbate-jeans guy. The article is somewhat critical of the ads, but i think approves in principle. frankly, i'm just pleased to have impetus to talk about it.

i am not an apple guy (i'm a cheap computer guy) and i've long found the apple brand patronizing and condescending. having cultivated a highly educated, highbrow, elaborate coffee-drink sipping audience to scoff at PCs, apple has cynically made a niche of selling their products essentially on pedigree. in fact, i can't think of any other ubiquitous commodity manufacturer that makes such a high-profile, sustained appeal to class distinctions.

besides, maybe PC guy featured in the ad, always flustered, is such a square because he never had the time to cultivate himself. maybe mom and dad couldn't afford to send him off to liberal arts school, so he took out loans and went to the state school. perhaps his loans didn't cover his tuition, so he also worked full time. then he dropped out, and now he slogs through a miserable, lowly corporate existence. is that really his fault?

while i do not question the efficacy of the apple ads, i also take issue with their characterization of mac users. cool and laid back my ass. while cool is debatable, i know of no laid back mac users. after all, they were so particular about their generalized porn-watching and word processing needs that they were willing to pay an extra five hundred bucks (we're all creatures of habit, i suppose).

if i didn't know mac people, you could never convince me that they exist. i mean, who fucking cares what kind of computer you have, right? all anyone does is look at porn and dabble in the occasional stalk, right? who are the PC idiots out there who actually need that reassurance? i imagine these are the same type of idiots who in politics are called "swing voters" or "independents."